This journal entry is going to be about bleeding and pain, and it will probably have a lot of curses in it. You’ve been forewarned.
Officially, I have an annovulatory period cycle. This basically means that I don’t ovulate regularly, which causes me to basically have a fucked up period. I go months without bleeding (that’s not so bad) but then once I do start bleeding, it goes on and on and on. I’ve been dealing with this for probably 6 or 7 years. In the beginning, I was put on birth control to try to regulate it. I tried three different kinds of birth control, all of which made me ill. I’d throw up daily. It was ridiculous. So I took myself off the birth control and was like fuck this, I’ll let it comes as it comes.
In the beginning of March I got my period, and I didn’t think much of it after I had it for a month (that can be normal for me). After I had it for two months I thought, ok, this is getting a little crazy. At two and a half months, I decided to call the doctor because I was so sick of bleeding. I had the appointment around the three month mark of having my period (so far, that’s the longest I’ve ever bled), and I told the doctor I’d be willing to try birth control again, because this is just entirely out of control. So she put me on progesterone which causes the bleeding to stop, and then 5-15 days after that your period should start up, and then it’s time to start the birth control. Long story short, I started bleeding very soon after the progesterone was finished, so I started taking the birth control, but to my surprise, three weeks later, my REAL period showed up. The bleeding previously was apparently just spotting. Fuck. I called my doctor and they wanted to see me but I refused, told them to give me the progesterone so I could try this again and start taking the pill on the REAL first day of my cycle. So they did.
Well, I got my period yesterday … and holy shit. My periods should probably documented in some medical book, they are so fucking painful and heavy and clotty. I have a super plus tampon in, and I’m wearing two pads. Yes, that is how fucking heavy I am in the beginning. The pain has me doubled over, running to the bathroom because I’m so nauseous and I’m not sure if I’m going to throw up that time or not, and just attacking my body. I’ve had severe cramps since my second period of my life, so I’ve been dealing with this for a long time and I’ve built up a pretty high pain tolerance for it. Unfortunately, just take 4 ibuprofen or 3 Aleve just doesn’t cut it anymore, and I’ve tried other things but nothing works, and I’msofuckingfrustrated that nothing is taking the pain away, because this shit is ridiculous. And bleeding like a pig and having this kind of pain might not even be so horrendous if I could do it at HOME, in my bed! But no. At work I am, because this is life and you just have to fucking deal and that sucks.
I just hope this new birth control works. I hope it regulates it and I hope it doesn’t make me sick and I hope I can have a normal period so I can stop spending $1,230,344.45 a month on tampons and pads and so that I can have sex for the majority of the month and so that my pain is limited to 3 days instead of 35. I hope I feel better soon and I hope I’m in a better mood soon and I hope my period goes away after the standard 5-7 days.
It feels good, although not good enough to stop the pain, to vent about this and get it out. Maybe now I’ll focus and write about some happy things to counteract this wretched mood I’m in.