You are currently browsing the monthly archive for August 2009.
Wow, so …
- 4 more days of work, 6 days until we set sail.
- I was able to speak to the recruiter from the company in Maine yesterday. More to come on this, but I’m still trying to figure out from her what the salary range for the position is… because if it’s too low for my expenses, there’s no point in continuing.
- Great weekend. Spent the day at LBI yesterday and have some pics to share.
- Dinner tonight with some friends. I’m cooking at my place. Should be excellent.
- We got an offer today on the house. Yes, a fucking offer. I can’t believe it. Two months it’s been on the market. We went back with a counter offer. Keep your fingers crossed / pray / send positive vibes / do a tribal dance / pick your nose – whatever it is that you do to get the message out there, please do it for me! I NEED to get outta there!
I stopped going to the gym for about a month and a half, maybe two months at this point. It was the whole “I found someone new thing and I’m up to all hours of the night either on the phone or having sex.” Ha. Seriously. I’ve been totally wrapped up in that new relationship / lots of sex / getting to know everything about you phase. Which left very little time for sleep, let alone my 5am wakeup call for the gym. I don’t feel guilty about it – yes, the gym is super positive and healthy and is what I need to continue losing weight, but entering into a new relationship and having lots of sex is also positive and healthy in different ways. From April (when EJ left) until June, around the time I stopped going to the gym, I was down two dress sizes. Thankfully, I maintained that without going to the gym.
So this week I started going back: the alarm going off at 5, the snoozing until 5:30, dragging my ass out of bed and taking my slow ass time getting dressed before finally getting on a machine by 5:45. I picked up at the same high levels I left off at – the cardio machine I’m on for 45 minutes is set to a level 5, and I probably should have started off a little lower since I’ve been out of commission for so long, but I wasn’t having it. And then most of my weights are set to 70 lbs (besides when I do my arms – my god, 30 lbs is enough there) – again, probably should have started off a bit lower, but I was all hard core about it.
It’s the end of the week and my body is feeling it. And I’m still tired, trying to adjust to a new sleeping pattern again, but boy do I feel good. Maybe by Christmas I can be down another two dress sizes? Maybe a little too ambitious, considering when I dropped all that weight the first time I was not only hitting the gym daily but I was depressed and barely eating … but it’s nice to have goals!
B is super encouraging with the gym – actually, she’s encouraged me to go this whole time, it was me who was dragging my feet – which makes me happy. I’ve always been lucky enough to have encouraging and supportive partners when I venture out to do things, and this definitely helps.
Today is our team summer outing, which is a picnic this year at Fairmount Park. I was on the planning committee (I did NOT volunteer, that nice boss I was talking about before nominated me) and it’s been quite a headache – I’ll be glad when today is over. Unfortunately for us, it’s raining out. We will be under a pavilion, but still, can’t do much under the roof of a pavilion before people start getting bored. So maybe we’ll be able to head home after we eat, which would totally be fantastic.
The cruise countdown is down to 9 days. Can you believe it? I’m really getting excited. I broke out two suitcases last night and set them on the futon in the third bedroom, lids open, just waiting to be filled. I started getting together toiletries and putting them in, checking them off my list as I go.
We booked this shore excursion for the time while we are in Freeport. How cool does that seem?!?
I can’t help but count – 11 days until I set sail! Jude pretty much told me like it was in my post yesterday, so I’m going to listen to her and just get over it and focus on enjoying myself. Also, if anyone wants to help me enjoy myself – check out this site here and feel free to send us a little surprise treat while we’re on vacation 
We’re on Carnival Pride, setting sail on September 6, 2009, in stateroom #5112. Hopefully that’s all the information you need
Also, I cannot believe this – I had to listen to the voice mail twice – I received a call from someone in the HR department of a job I applied for a week and a half ago. A job located in BAR HARBOR, MAINE. That’s right. What the hell? Who gets a call back that soon after applying for a job? And who thinks they are going to get any kind of response back after applying for their FIRST out of state job? I mean seriously??? Seriously!
I have really been mulling over the idea of relocating – I am young, healthy, ambitious, with no real commitments (besides my current job) where I’m currently located. Yes, my family and friends are here. No, I do not want to leave them – however, I have to do things for myself and I can’t just stay in an area because that’s where my comfort is. So I thought, ok, you’re coming out of this 5 and a half year marriage, why not live in another state? You have no children, you are selling your house, and you have planes and cars and vacation time to visit the people you love. So why not do it Jen? You only live once, right?
So I gave a very half-assed attempt at starting to look for some jobs in an area that I loved when I visited – of course I thought wow, wouldn’t that be great to get a job on this island? But I didn’t think I’d actually get a call back!!!!!
Look at me – freaking out. I didn’t even call the woman back yet, let alone get offered anything. I probably won’t even get the job. But still. It’s just the possibility of it all, you know?
I’m scared to call her back!
Wow.
The countdown for my trip is now down to 12 days. Sometimes I feel guilty for booking it – I’m so broke right now and using almost all of my savings for the trip just wasn’t the smartest thing. On the other hand, I do feel like I deserve it. I was going to go to Italy with Claire before my PTO days at work stopped that, and I was just as broke planning that trip too, yet I wasn’t feeling guilty there? I’m trying to live in the moment and do things while I have a chance. It has been a rough time for me and I work hard – so why not? Besides, I could be spending my money on worse things, right? Yes, I think so. (It is exhausting, making myself feel guilty and then coaxing myself out of it. Lol)
I’m getting a little better with the cooking. I attempted a homemade spaghetti sauce on Saturday night – and surprisingly it turned out really good, even though I forgot to take the seeds out of the tomatoes and probably used a little too much pepper. But making something from scratch like that? I’m totally impressed with myself. After that I helped B make this peach pie, a recipe that has been in her family, and again, I was delighted with myself. I made the crust and put it in the pie pan myself – first time ever. I was surprised with how easy it was and I felt lots of encouragement from that. I’m already thinking about the fall and the possibilities of homemade apple and pumpkin pies! I also have blueberries from when we went picking a few weeks ago that I froze and are still waiting to be used – I should try to find a recipe for a blueberry pie. Yum. At this rate I’ll be gaining back all that weight I lost : )
I can’t believe the summer is almost over. Hard to believe I was dreading the beginning of it, my first summer without EJ. The passing of time never ceases to amaze me.
There are three rules for this award:
1. Link back to the person who gave you the award.
2. Forward the award to 10 bloggers.
3. List 10 honest things about yourself.
I’m so lucky, I got this award from Dragon and Jude! Thanks you two for thinking of me. Back at you both.
Now to send the award off to others…
This Side of Changed – for her relentless courage and bravery. I love her writing.
G – for sharing things as she figures them out.
Learner – for coming so far in her journey and always trying to grow.
QR – for always being so sweet, and saying cute words like “Blimey”
Kim & M – for their love and courage and determination in their baby making adventures.
So that’s close enough. Anyway, all of my peeps (and you know who you are) are the best.
Now for some honest facts.
Things about me.
1. I bite my nails and I wish I could stop but I can’t!
2. I’ve never broken a bone in my life, and that’s with playing sports since I’ve been 7. Not a one! *knock on wood*
3. I really want another tattoo, but I have no idea what to get. I’ve considered asking Shane to help me design something, but have been dragging my feet because I know she’ll probably come up with something that I love and then I’ll really want to go through with it, which scares me!
4. I’m a picky eater. I don’t like so many things but I wish I did. Peanut butter, for instance. It just looks so good.
5. It took me 7 years to get my bachelor’s degree. I still have no idea what I want to do with my life.
6. I’m an extremely blunt, honest, no-nonsense kind of person. I like this about myself. With me, you always know what you are getting.
7. I’ve been contemplating moving to a new state. A state somewhat far from where I’m at now. At first it was just a thought, but now it has grown into a serious possibility. It makes me excited but very scared and overwhelmed. So many things would need to happen – the selling of my house, figuring out where I’d want to live, finding a new job there, finding housing there, etc, etc, etc. But I still don’t want to rule out the possibility of this being a next step for me. If not now, when, yanno?
8. I hope someone does to my ex what she did to me. I typically do not wish ill on others, but I wouldn’t be being honest if I didn’t tell you that I do hope karma does it’s job there.
9. My biological dad died a year or two ago, and I believe it was karma. I didn’t cry or attend the services, and neither did my brother, and we’re both ok with that.
10. I love sex. I love vanilla sex and kinky & naughty sex, rough sex and soft sex and anything and everything in between. I think having sex and talking about sex is healthy and wonderful and I hope I never change in this regards 
I finished the book I was reading today, The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows. I enjoyed it – thought it was smart and descriptive and that the characters were my friends too. I’m filling up my little notebook with the books I want to read and the books I’ve already read, which is a laborious task. I’ve started going through the shelves in my office and writing them down, almost all of them which I’ve already read. Then the task of trying to remember ones I’ve borrowed or donated or given away – I’m sure I’ll never get an accurate count / tally but I think it’s fun to try.
B came to my house last night and she’s staying for the weekend. We don’t have any set plans except for Sunday, when we’re going back to her town in PA for her nephew’s 2nd birthday party. Saturday we were thinking of maybe going to the shore for the day, but I’d need to find someone to keep an eye on Gracie throughout the day so I’m not sure about that.
While B and I were making dinner last night, I talked to her about some of my blogger people – who’s who, who is doing what, where some of you live, and about the get together in October that I couldn’t make it too because it was too soon after my vacation and that’s just too much money all at once. It isn’t the first time I’ve mentioned some names – for instance, she knows about Jude because when we were down the shore a few weeks ago, I explained to her why I was taking a picture of the pizza – but it was the first time I sat down with the laptop and showed her some blogs and faces. She was so sweet about the October get together – she was like, “Don’t count it out, you never know, maybe we can get a great deal on airfare as it gets closer.” I told her that the house was already rented so I’d have to plan for next year, and then she talked about her friend’s ex that lives in SD and she should call him because she knows he’d let us stay. The gesture was so nice – she knows how much I consider so many of you friends.
I can’t believe it’s August 21st already. Makes me so sad to see the summer approaching it’s ending, although the end of summer marks my vacation so that’s exciting. And I do love the fall – it’s probably my favorite season – so we’ve thrown the idea around of going camping in VT or NH or ME when the leaves start to change – although I will miss the beach terribly.
Not only is today Friday, but both of my bosses are not in today and we are getting out at 3. Besides having the day off, it doesn’t get much better than that!
I reached 100 posts yesterday and didn’t even realize it! Go me! It made me reflect on the reason I had to start this new blog, and how far I’ve come since then. I’m not yet ready to go back and read through the entries – ehhh, I don’t want to relive the pain just yet, especially when it’s just not completely over. But I love the comfort of knowing it’s there when I’m ready. I didn’t realize how much of myself would be saved when starting to write it all out. I didn’t realize I would make new friends and find support – invaluable support – here, in the least likely of places. I am grateful and appreciative and comforted.
Also, my dear, wonderful, lovely, beautiful, helpful blogger friends (you can see I’m about to ask a favor, right?) … I was hoping one of you may have something that I’d like to borrow for my vacation. I have a little flip video camera, and I was wondering if any of you possibly have the flip video camera underwater case that you’d lend me? It’s about $40 at Walmart – $40 that I don’t have, but also, it wouldn’t be sensible anyway since I rarely record things in the water.
This is what it looks like. I know the chances of one of ya’ll having it are slim, but I figured it was worth a shot, eh?
B works for a small landscaping company, and they told her and the rest of the employees yesterday that they were bankrupt and they only had about two weeks left to work, if that. She’s been there for 6 years. Talk about a sucky day.
Needless to say she is worried. And of course we booked the cruise and of course that money would be a lot better sitting in her savings account right now. Can’t really fret over things like that because there is no going back, but still. She has some side jobs lined up and she has a lot of connections so I’m sure she’ll be fine for a while. Plus, the owner of the company offered to give her tools and equipment if she wanted them (for her own business) – like thousand dollar machines – so if he actually followed through with that it would be beneficial for her. It’s just scary. Nobody wants to be without a job, especially in this kind of economy.
The Power Ball, from the PA lottery, is up to like $245 million, and the Mega Millions, from the Jersey lottery, is up to like $170 million. Can you even imagine? I’m going to go out during lunch and buy a power ball ticket and then once I get home tonight I’ll buy mega millions. I just want to pay off my student loan debt, which was nearly $100k last year when I started paying it off (I know, it’s gross and ridiculous) and then pay off my credit card debt and then buy EJ out of the house and pay it off. If I could just get enough money for those things – I swear, I’d never complain another day in my life. I mean, I’ll take the $245 million and obviously do a lot more than pay off my debt and buy a house – but shit, I’ll also take a measly $300k! Hell, who am I kidding? I’ll take anything.
Ahhh. It’s never easy, is it?
The Others Have Spoken