Monthly Archive

In the morning, I’m out of the door before the sun is awake. On clear days, as I’m getting on the highway, a slight mixture of pink and blue sit low on the horizon, right above the mountain. When I see this, I know it’ll be a good ride to work. My commute takes me over two mountains, and while they are considered mere hills to the people of the Rockies, they are mountains to me. I am from flat-land covered in trees, so I really wasn’t able to see the morning unfold like this. Driving over the mountains during a sunrise is pure peace in my soul. It never ceases to amaze me once I get to the top and begin to descend down, the pink or orange view of a brand-new day. I like being in an area with different elevations – I am seeing the world in a whole new way. And I suppose this is what life is like when we don’t ask for it; the changes that happen to us, oftentimes unwelcome, give us a new pair of glasses to try on and change our view of, well, anything really.

Life has put me in such a place where I’m really grateful for everything; this appreciativeness is heightened after all of the recent changes in my life, and I know this is a positive thing. It certainly doesn’t mean that everything is always wonderful, or everyone is healthy, or I’m at a place in my life that I really want to be at. No, this isn’t the case. But I’m trying to understand that maybe I’ll never be in the place I’m working towards – how often we make plans for such a life that doesn’t unfold that way. I’m trying to understand that I have a choice to be positive, everyday, because it always can be worse. I try to remember how far I’ve come in rebuilding my life; how far along I am after the disaster that maybe didn’t turn out to be a disaster after all, just a tragedy of the heart that needed to happen to continue my growth. I try to remember how this new opportunity has pushed me forward much quicker and farther in my life than I could have imagined, how it affords me a life that would have taken years to obtain after the ex left. And in recognizing all of this, and being happy right now, right in this very moment, I find pleasures in the smallest of things. Like the sunrise; a set of rolling hills that weave in and out of each other; the feeling of my naked girlfriend pressed up against me at night; a child that loves me calling out my name; the taste of homemade hot chocolate in my belly.

I started volunteering at the local animal shelter. I’m beginning learning how to knit. I’m more deliberate when exploring my photography. We take Sunday drives. We will take hikes in the snow, even when it’s below freezing. I drink wine on random, ordinary days. I’m watching the sunrise. I’m slowing down. I’m living.