There has been a shift in our home over the last few weeks, a small but strong current that is changing the way we move forward, and this has mostly everything to do with B’s new job and the schedule that it brings. We’ve had to learn how to conduct our relationship differently, communicate differently, schedule time together differently. It’s one of those things that you think about before it happens – you know its coming – yet you just can’t fully understand what it will be like until you’re living it.
I’m actually grateful of her schedule, especially since she’s a new driver. She drives regionally which means she’s gone one to two nights at a time, then back home. This is actually better for us than a daily shift, where her days would be extremely long and we wouldn’t see each other anyway and she wouldn’t get paid as much because her mileage is shorter. It’s also better than over-the-road driving, which would put her gone for a week or more at a time. With this schedule we still don’t see each other much during the week, even though she’s slept in our bed twice since Monday. For example: she was gone early Monday and didn’t get home until 10:30pm on Tuesday. I was at practice and didn’t get home until 11:45pm and she was already sleeping. I left before her on Wednesday morning and she had about a 10 hour total drive on Wednesday, so she didn’t get home until 12:10 am on Thursday morning / Wednesday night. I left for work Thursday morning while she was still sleeping, and then she’ll leave for an overnight trip and get home around 10pm on Friday. So I try to be grateful that I even get to feel her body at all. Trying to maintain this positive frame of mind whenever I’m feeling sad or overwhelmed really curbs any negativity that starts to creep in.
Overall, I’m surprised at the amount of work that has to be done around the house that really falls to me during the week. It just didn’t seem that much when there was two of us, but now I’m super aware of all of the tasks I complete in a day’s time.
There’s the daily chores: Oh, dinner has to be cooked. And before that the dishes from last night have to be put away. And I’m left with the cleanup of the dinner dishes, even though I’m the one that cooked. And the cats have to be fed and the litter box cleaned, both twice a day. The floor needs to be vacuumed. Sort through the mail and shred or put aside for later or pay a bill. Pack lunch for the next day.
Then there’s the every-so-often chores or things that need to be done: Take the trash out. Take the recyclables out. Bring trash and recyclable cans back in. Pick xyz up from the store. Clean up the cat’s hairballs. Wash clothes. Return this to the store. Get gas. Fix this. Take the air conditioners out of the windows. Take the air conditioners to the attic. Wash the bed sheets. Decorate. Call the repair guy. Go to derby practice. Start searching for and purchase the chest for B’s clothes so that she can finally have her shit in the master bedroom. Clean the bathroom. Put plastic over the windows for the looming, freezing winter season. Wash the sheets. Buy birthday card. Make birthday present. After you mess it up, make it again. File your paperwork. Put away things that have been lying around. Check your email. Wash your stinky derby pads. Purchase the rugs for the hallway that you’ve been putting off for the last year. Dust the ceiling fans. For God’s sake, dust the ceiling fans!
And this is just scratching the surface. It doesn’t even include the other things of the day that take up time (getting a shower, getting dressed, commuting to work, working, commuting home from work, and eating). All of these things take up too much time!!!!! I’m grateful that there are no kids in the house yet, as it’s hard enough trying to just get shit done on my own.
It’s an interesting adventure, this new phase of life. I’m trying to maintain a positive, grateful attitude about everything concerning it, even though I can see how it can get tiring real fast : ) It’s awesome that B has a job, and a good one at that! She loves the company she works for; they really seem to treat their employees right. I get to have a good amount of “me” time, which usually consists of derby, working on my photography, reading, or watching a show I DVR’d, almost all of which B has no desire in watching, so that works out nicely. And being a part also makes us appreciate the time we do have together. So really, it could be worse. It’s all about perspective.
I’m proud of her