I feel like such a cat lady. I miss my doggies, but these cats are pretty awesome. I’m becoming one of those people who tells cat stories at work. Gahh! Make it stop. My cat infatuation might be infiltrating this blog too, as evidenced by this post. I’ll try to keep the cat-talk to a minimum.
Some cat thoughts:
1. Why, when shitting in the liter box, is the shit smashed into the very bottom and/or sides of the box? Why can’t it just be in the actual liter? That’s so much easier to clean. I’m scraping shit off the bottom of that box in at least two corners, daily. I clean twice a day, and can usually find this shitting tactic in both the morning and evening. Am I the only one? Also, I was trying to hit some kind of record of using the word “shit” in that sentence a whole bunch of times.
2. Why does the canister of air / cleaning duster scare them more than when they get squirted by the water bottle? The water is much cheaper than that canned air. They probably know this and it’s all just apart of their scheme. You know the one.
3. Why do cats sit on your lap purring, being petted by you, in their glory, and then turn on you in 10 seconds? They get dilated eyes and they growl and they ATTACK for no reason! I call this the demonic cat possession. I do not yet know how to perform exorcisms.
4. Why do they insist on cleaning each other when they are on your lap or sitting on the couch above your head? They get so intimate and loud with each other that I feel like I’m invading their privacy. Get a room.
5. Lastly, why do my cats act like dogs? Legitimately, I think they are really dogs. There is 1500 sq ft of living space in this house, and those furballs are up my ass every waking second. (We enacted a “no cat in the bedroom” policy about 6 months ago, and although I do feel sorry for them sometimes, because of their VERY LOUD meowing and crying outside of the door, I love this policy. Does this make me a bad lesbian?)
I just want to say that I love the fact that my first post of the new year is about the cats. What a lesbian!
Happy New Year!!!
4 comments
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January 6, 2012 at 1:58 am
Mel
I can sympathize with every part of this. Even with all the dogs and fosters coming in/out we still have 2 cats. They are so spoiled they even have their own room!
So you don’t let them in the bedroom?! How do you sleep at night without one wrapped around your head?
BTW, my bag and other really great ones can be found @ kellymoorebags.com—but I’ve found them cheaper on Amazon or Ebay.
February 2, 2012 at 8:33 am
dykeevolution
I’m starting to wonder if I’m getting much better sleep WITHOUT them in the bedroom, with all of the clawing they do at the door. And seriously, I shouldn’t even say “they” because I know it’s only Ollie, that bastard. LOL He wakes us up like clockwork on the weekend. And it’s not like he needs anything – we have an automatic water dispenser and there’s always some food left in their bowls. HE JUST WANTS TO BE AROUND US. At 6am.
Geeze
January 6, 2012 at 9:07 am
Mark
Oh my God, you are one of “those” people! You need to stop!
So funny. And mostly because you’ve only had cats for such a short time.
So funny!
m.
January 24, 2012 at 8:34 pm
Pawn of the Paw
I adore cats. My beloved always knows when I am looking at cats on the internet because I get all gooey and say things like “..well, hello there” and purr. I can’t help it.
I don’t have a cat now, though I grew up with them and always had a cat. My last little friend died two years ago, and I think I need to focus on dog who was raised by the cat. She is very cat like, and washes her paws, and stretches and does her version of purring which is awfully like moaning.
1. Not all cats smash their poops. Some do, some poop and flee, some cover so aggressively they fling the poop out of the box along with five pounds of litter.
2. It’s the sound of the air that bothers them, along with the force of the air. Out of the canister, it produces a high pitch sound that they hate.
3. Certain breeds of cats get over-excited and then loving turns to aggression. I had a cat who just drooled and drooled and drooled, and got limp and hot in my lap. He was a goof who never got aggressive.
4. The world, the whole world, is the domain of any and all cats. You are in their way. Just feel blessed.
5. I could never keep my cats out of any room. One just would open the door because he was very big, and very smart, and could open round door knobs. Another would just bang on the door endlessly. You are not a bad lesbian, you are a brave lesbian.