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Last year, I told you about a brain tumor I have, that the doctors found after trying to determine the cause of my Bells Palsy. The tumor and the Bells Palsy were completely unrelated; I do feel grateful that I even got Bells Palsy to begin with – otherwise, I would have had no idea about the tumor. I have to have a yearly MRI for a while to make sure that the tumor isn’t growing. I had my appointment with the neurologist yesterday, who gave me great news: the tumor has NOT grown and it is NOT pressing on my optical nerves. I feel so happy. And relieved. Obviously. Hooray!
There is nothing like having a brain tumor to put things into perspective.
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I got injured again during a practice at the beginning of June, to my other knee. The trauma to the knee caused my bursa sac to rupture and blood poured in, then clotted. It’s still swollen a bit, and still very sore. It’s slowly getting better. Emphasis on the slow. (I can’t WAIT to get back on skates and start hitting the ladies again. It is so theraputic.) To combat my time off of skates, I’ve been attacking the pile of books that I’ve been wanting to read. Anyone have any recommendations?
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We have busy weekends ahead of us. I wish our summers weren’t crammed into such a short period of time. This weekend, my friend from high school is getting married, so we’re headed back to Jersey for that. I love gettin’ fancy every now and then. We’re also trying to plan a weekend trip to Mehoopany for sometime in August or September. And another camping trip. And another trip to the beach would be awesome. And a weekend at home with not much to do would also be wonderful. Ahh, the possibilities.
It was a little place in the middle of a town (a small town – the kind you could miss passing through if you blinked too long). When we walked into the bar, a few heads turned to observe us, and I immediately took a quick sweep with my eyes, confirming that yes, it really was lesbian night. The name of the place has the word “Café” in the title, but it’s not a café at all. It was a little run down and tired inside, dimly lit with a neon Budweiser sign hanging on the far wall. To the right against the wall was a bar, all of its seats filled with patrons. To the left of the bar were a few high tables scattered about, and behind them towards the back wall was the pool table. I didn’t notice the cozy sectional couch and table against the front wall until later. It sounds like it would be out of place, but it worked in there.
B’s friend greeted us after a few seconds of us standing there and looking around, and we began heading to one of the tables. That’s when I saw her, leaning over the pool table with a stick in her hand, concentrating on the move she was able to make. Her hair was closely cut – maybe a one on the sides and a two or three on top. She had a plain white t-shirt on with cuffed sleeves, a pair of jeans that ended over a pair of heavy boots. “Damn, she is HOT.” I said to B, motioning my eyes in the direction of the pool table. FINALLY, my type of eye candy, something I could ogle at for once. She was pure butch. Oozing butch. My heart was happy to see it.
My heart was happy to be in the presence of a whole room of lesbians, most of them local to the new town that I moved to 5 and a half months ago. Where have they all been? We have hardly seen much of a lesbian community here at all, hence my surprise and delight at the pool-playing-butch. I was beginning to think B was the only one in town. And even though it turns out pool-playing-butch is a hard-core player and general all around a-hole (so they say), I still won’t let it ruin my delight in the existence of her in this town. Anyway, it turns out the lesbian community is here and thriving, specifically on Wednesday and Friday nights a this café, the lesbian book club, and of course, the gay club that’s 10 minutes outside of town.
I’m looking forward, especially with the coming of beautiful spring weather, to getting to know the local gays. Finding a community, starting over in a new place is no easy task. It took us long enough, but I think we’re off to a good start.
And that’s just one of many things that’s been going right for me lately. I am not a religious person in any sense of the word, and I’m not sure if I’m even spiritual, but I’d still use the word “blessed” to describe how I’m feeling nowadays. It seems to be the adjective that works.
A little over a month ago I got everything that I needed that I was waiting for at my job. This, in and of itself, was truly wonderful news. This happening means that I’m basically now able to work at 100%. So, 5 months after I started, I’m now allowed to do my job completely. It is a huge relief. Not to mention I’m excited to finally be challenged and deeply involved in my career again. My days have been extremely fulfilling. I am grateful.
I’ve also met quite a great group of people throughout the company who I have become good friends with, or as good of friends as one can be when knowing someone for this short of a period. And I’ve signed up for the company softball team, which is basically an excuse to go out for drinks afterwards, so I’m looking forward to getting to know more people outside of work this way too. I’m grateful for the existence of these like-minded, funny, down-to-earth new people in my life.
We have an amazing home here, thank goodness. We both feel so comfortable and, well, at home in this place. And amazingly enough, our 73-year-old landlady, who is also our immediate next-door neighbor (we live in a duplex), is wonderfully fabulous and magnificent. We’ve really made this place our own, and it’s truly like a haven for me. Can’t get much better than that, especially when living far way from my [previous] home.
Which, speaking of my previous home, I’ve luckily gotten to visit quite often. Or people have come out to visit me. Or I’ve gotten to FaceTime or Skype with some of them. This is the advantage of living away, but not too far. I’m loving it.
B is in a trade school right now, something she’s always wanted to do, in an all-women program. She is loving it, and so very happy with everything about it. She’s made some great friends (a few lesbians even!) and really, it’s one of the best things that’s happened to her since we moved here. I’m so happy for her and for this opportunity. I hope it pans out into something she loves and is happy with. So far, so good.
And life with an animal back in the house is a good one. He is sweet when he sleeps, but mostly, he is “attack kitty,” and that’s usually fun, minus the bites and scratches. He is getting big so quick. He rules this house and he knows it.
So life has been going quite nicely, overall. It’s not without it’s difficulties but the good is so very good right now, so I’m not complaining about anything. Not even the $1,000 I spent on getting new tires and brakes and rotors and an alignment, and the $400 I’m spending to get my car transferred and registered in Maryland. I’m not even going to complain!
We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. – Frederick Keonig
Ollie says hello. It's a tough life. Really.
Most cruise lines will have a few Friends of Dorothy (FOD) meetings throughout a cruise trip, which is basically a semi-organized meeting for queer people on the ship. They put the meeting time in the daily newspaper that is delivered to your stateroom and if you can make it, great. If not, there will probably be one tomorrow. It’s a great way to meet people and hang out with family (see some history here).
When we went on our cruise in September, we met a few ladies at this meet up who we clicked with. They were a little put off by how much younger we were (and they’ll even tell you that now) but they quickly changed their minds when they got to know us, of course 
I’d say they are somewhere in their fifties, but still, age ain’t no thang. We really really connected with two of them and decided to stay in touch and so we did. We became facebook friends and have visited them at their house in Maryland and write occasional emails and are up to date on each others’ happenings.
So we were really excited when we were invited to their wedding reception a few months ago, which happened this past Sunday. They were having this party with two other couples, and all three couples got married in DC within the last few months since it’s became legal there recently.
I can’t tell you what it was like to walk into that banquet room. It was a room filled with women – almost ALL of them in their 50′s and older and the majority of them probably in their 60′s and 70′s. Mostly all short, gray and white hair. Wrinkles and clothes I can’t imagine wearing – ever. The other two couples who got married were much older (one of them had been together 25 years – 25 years!!!). We sat at a table with a couple who have been together for 28 years. Oh my god, that’s how old I am. You know? The lesbians in this room were dating when it wasn’t that OK to be a lesbian. These women are history, right here. I’m able to be who I am today because of them. I felt so emotional almost immediately. It was truly a sight to see.
Our friends were so happy to see us and so happy that we came. They doted on us and on how we were such a “handsome” couple. They were introducing us to everyone as either “Our young friends” or “The kids from the cruise” or “Our young cute lesbians.” We were the youngest people there by far, and we just couldn’t help but be conscious of it. We got quite a bit of looks, and I can’t help but wonder what some of the women were thinking. What do they see when they look at us?
One of the other couples we met on the cruise was there and they did a powerpoint picture show of all three couples and I just couldn’t help but cry – and hello, I only knew one couple there! I tell you what though – seeing two wrinkled, gnarled hands with shiny gold matching wedding bands holding up a certificate that finally gives the love they’ve had for the last quarter century some rights behind it – it was overwhelming.
Then, to see them slow dance together. Lovingly holding each other, arms wrapped around and heads leaning on chests. Adoration and love still in their eyes. Free to be who they are, to dance with their wife if they want to, to kiss without judgment. It was better than any pride parade I’d ever been to. I really cannot accurately describe what it was to see my people that far along in life. The only older or elderly couples I ever see are heterosexual, or so it seems. This was me in 50 years. It makes me emotional thinking about it now.
I wish I could do a better job of explaining it, explaining what the women were like and what this community of lesbians were like. Truly. I feel very changed by it all. And lucky. Lucky to have such good friends from such a chance meeting and lucky to have celebrated with these women.
I had a girls night yesterday with My Homie, D. We saw The Bounty Hunter, which was predictable but cute. (What wasn’t cute was the cost of the whole ordeal – seriously, WTF!!) We chatted lots and it’s so nice to slow down and catch up. She’s on maternity leave now officially, which is exciting. I was talking to SG, aka Monkey in her belly, about how I knew I was already his favorite aunt, and I got a knee (or a butt or a foot or something hard) to my hand : ) So we made plans for next week again – the last moments of peace before parenthood.
Tonight I head to B’s house where plans for a campfire got changed because of the rain. So we’re bowling instead. This’ll be the second time we’ve ever bowled together – the first time was for my birthday. B had told me that she just an OK bowler. Yea, right. I found out she was on the bowling team and everything and she totally kicked everyone asses that night. It’s so fuckin hot when women I’m attracted to are good at sports. She totally kicks my ass in almost all of the sports we’ve played together – softball, arm wrestling, football, soccer, pool, bowling, biking, fishing, wrestling, kayaking. The only things she hasn’t kicked my ass in (because I was too busy kicking her’s) is swimming, volleyball and ping pong. (I think she equally hates and loves when this happens). And there’s still so many more competitive things to play together. I love it. So fun.
Speaking of sports – we watched Whip It this week and now I’m completely fascinated with roller derby. So fascinated, in fact, that I looked into a local league and even sent them an email asking about workshops and tryouts. Why would I do this? I don’t know! It’s scares the shit outta me and makes me kind of want to throw up at the thought of actually trying it but I’m also athletic and competitive and bad-ass. It might help to get a pair of used skates and actually see if I don’t fall down or anything. So we’ll see.
Saturday we’re biking! Finally! B is going to get Gertie all geared up with the stuff I got her. We also finally got around to naming B’s bike (which is the same as mine except a year older and a little taller). I picked it: Guinness. Or Guinny for short. Yes, we’re dorks. I’m aware.
I wanted to write about something entirely different but this is what came out. That’s the way it goes, eh? Happy weekend!
I went over my friend’s house last night for dinner, to celebrate their youngest child turning 1. H, their 4 year old, is the most sweetest, most mischievous, most intelligent, most get-into-everything boy on the planet who loves me. He also happens to be obsessed with boobs. He’s often in my arms and I’m often telling him to get his hands out of my shirt.
I had on a swoop neck shirt that I wore to work that was low enough that you could see my tattoo. He was on my lap, leaning his head on my shoulder when he pulled the neckline of my shirt down to reveal half of my leopard bra. At the dinner table.
Me: “H, it’s not nice to do that, remember?”
H: “But you have boobs.”
Me: “Yes I do.”
H: “Do they have milk in them?”
Me: “No they don’t.”
H: “Why?”
Me: “Because I haven’t had a baby recently.”
H: “What about your mommy? Does she have milk in hers?”
Me: “Not now. She did when I was a baby though.”
H: “I like your boobs.” (As he proceeds to pull the neck down again and look at them)
Me: (laughing, because who can’t at this point?) “Thanks, that’s very nice of you.”
H: “Did you get your tattoo at McDonalds? Like me?” (as he shows me the tattoo on his arm).
Me: “You ready to go play yet?”
I love that child.
Jude, I don’t know how to thank you properly for this amazingly thoughtful gift. It was silly for me to be reading it on the subway where I balled my eyes out. I can’t explain how much it means to me – not just the donation and the fact that money is going to help out other dogs in Gracie’s name, but your generosity and thoughtfulness. We haven’t even met in person yet you are still such a great friend… I’m lucky to have you in my life.
Thanks Jude. Gracie loves this, I know.
xo
Wow, so …
- 4 more days of work, 6 days until we set sail.
- I was able to speak to the recruiter from the company in Maine yesterday. More to come on this, but I’m still trying to figure out from her what the salary range for the position is… because if it’s too low for my expenses, there’s no point in continuing.
- Great weekend. Spent the day at LBI yesterday and have some pics to share.
- Dinner tonight with some friends. I’m cooking at my place. Should be excellent.
- We got an offer today on the house. Yes, a fucking offer. I can’t believe it. Two months it’s been on the market. We went back with a counter offer. Keep your fingers crossed / pray / send positive vibes / do a tribal dance / pick your nose – whatever it is that you do to get the message out there, please do it for me! I NEED to get outta there!
I don’t know how I feel about my new layout. I think I’ll get used to it. I like the white. It’s clean and fresh and summery. Hmmm.
I went with one of my bf’s, Melissa, to see Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince last night. It has probably been two years or so since I’ve read the book so I forgot a lot about what happens. I liked it though, and it makes me want to re-read all seven books again. Like I have time for that right now.
Work has been a crazy mess. Two of my co-workers were out last week and then the beginning of this week, and part of my job responsibilities is being their backup. It’s incredibly difficult to do three peoples’ jobs at once. I’m still the new person, and there’s still so much I don’t know and don’t know how to do, but I think I did pretty fucking good. My boss is a self-proclaimed bitch. Literally. Mid 40’s, no husband or wife, no boyfriend or girlfriend, no kids, and definitely not happy. She’s married to her job and is completely career driven. She will tell you she’s a workaholic. Cold-hearted, doesn’t hardly ever smile, huffs a lot with her hand on her hip, yells at people. She definitely knows her shit, but she is not management material. She really doesn’t like dealing with the employees, doesn’t know how to manage them, and is a more like a dictator than anyone I’ve ever met. Seriously. She talks to us like shit, demands things, micro manages, and is just completely unreasonable. She will tell you EVERYTHING you’ve done wrong and NOTHING you’ve done right. It’s just how she is. She’s been here for three years and I don’t know how my co-workers have managed to stay this long. She certainly makes me want to look elsewhere within the university in the future. Anyway, that’s the background information to tell you that I was dreading last week, being practically alone with her. At least that’s what it felt like. I knew with people being gone and all of the work that needed to be done riding on me, she was probably going to be up my ass every other second of the day. Surprisingly though, she kept her distance, offered help, and let me do my thing. I was pretty astonished, but no complaints from me. Now that I’m catching up on my own work that has been neglected, I’m just really hoping that I did good last week. I don’t need for her to think I fucked up with something else. Which I have done before, obviously. Being human and all. Alright, complaining over, appreciation back. I like the quote.
The Others Have Spoken